Tuesday, January 11, 2011

You Might Be a Writer.

People often wonder if they have what it takes to be a writer. I've posted some helpful guidelines to determine your aptitude for writing fiction. Signs you might be a writer...

You obsess over office supplies. The prospect of purchasing a new notebook makes you a little too excited. You purchase a pack of your favorite pens even though you have two packages of said pens at home in your drawer. Because you like the way they flow on the page.

You are willing to defend to the death the placement of a comma.

Much to your friends' dismay, you point out what will happen next in a movie.  Or you say things like, "That would never happen. Let me explain."  At this point it is perfectly acceptable for your friends to pelt you with popcorn and/or Raisinettes.

Potential story ideas are everywhere. While standing at the deli counter you wonder aloud, "What if a shadowy government agency secretly controlled the nation's supply of olive loaf?" You immediately write this idea down for fear it you will forget it.

You have three to five novels laying around at any given time because you never know when they'll be a reading emergency and you may need to grab one. The prospect of getting rid of favorite books makes you want to weep uncontrollably.

You were the kid who daydreamed during history/math/science class. While the other kids were learning about algebra, in your mind, you were defending the school from a Russian invasion (a la Red Dawn). Or you just knew a masked maniac was waiting beneath your basement stairs, and if you didn't climb them fast enough, he would surely grab your ankle and drag you into the shadows.

You start writing a piece, decide it's total crap, and vow never to write again. Ever. You promptly return to writing the next day and discover you cannot quit.

Take heed. Once the writing bug sets in, there is no known cure. May God help us all.

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